Wife in Service: A Military Spouse’s Running Journey

by Tylandra Callands (as told to Dominique Burton)

Tylandra Callands is a South Carolina native living in Washington State, with her husband, Nicholas, an active-duty Navy Submariner, and their three young children. She stays extremely busy raising her children as well as running a small business that sells biodegradable children’s tableware derived from corn, called EcoSweetie.

She also works as an advocate, both locally and nationally, for initiatives with topics ranging from affordable quality childcare to better living conditions in privatized military housing.

With so many things on her plate, plus a new home in a very different place than what she was used to, running just wasn’t at the top of her activities list. However, Tylandra was inspired by the Women of Color she saw on the RUNGRL website and social media who candidly shared their experiences and tips for running.

“I wanted to break my cycle of telling myself, ‘One day I will’,” she said. “Plus, I thought it would be really cool to have that 13.1 decal on the back of my car window!”

A Supportive Community

As the spouse of an active-duty military member, Tylandra has made connections with others around her to support one another. Their shared experiences help provide a deeper connection over what can be more complicated than simply being a busy mom.

“Sacrifice—deployment, missed milestones, career growth—is what connects our military community, so we all recognize the importance of having support,” says Tylandra.

“Since I've been in Silverdale, Washington, I've connected with a few Black women who are also military spouses and who've expressed interest in running,” she says. “However, despite everyone’s best intentions, I have only been able to connect with one of them for an actual run.”

“Seattle, Tacoma, and Joint Base Lewis McCord often have great meetups, especially for those in the Black community. However, our distance and the logistics of getting there from her home in Kitsap County--think taking the ferry or driving around the Puget Sound--can be prohibitive of making those meetups regularly,” she says.

“If you don’t have an in-person support system to hold you accountable, go virtual!”

— Tylandra Callands, military spouse, mother and owner of EcoSweetie

Because of this, Tylandra highly recommends connecting with others online for added support with an easier-to-manage time commitment.

“If you don't have an in-person support system to hold you accountable, go virtual!” she says. She recommends posting your run stats in a group chat or using an app live Strava, Nike Run Club or MapMyRun to track progress and cheer on friends, or creating your own Facebook group.

“There is a closed social media group where local black military spouses share information about the area, base events, ask for recommendations, etc.,” she says. “And although we don't meet up as often as we would like, we continue to support each other through the Apple Watch app.”

I am always hopeful that I can affect a similar support system that is closer to our home area.

Race-day Blues

Tylandria’s first half marathon, the Virginia Mason Mother’s Day Half Marathon in Kirkland, Washington, was one of those races where it seems everything that can go wrong just bubbles to the surface. She and her husband had planned to run together, and the start line for the race was about an hour and a half from where they lived. Then, her planned sitter, whom she’d booked months in advance, canceled the morning of the race.

She thought she’d prepared for everything, even for bears and cougars in the wooded area around where she’d be running, but she hadn’t prepared for this. Luckily, her father-in-law was able to step in, but the chaos caused by the last-minute change had already left everyone flustered and scrambling.

Race Day started off in slight chaos. Kirkland is approximately an hour and a half from my home and I had to be at the starting line at 7:30 am.

They made it to the starting line just as the announcer sounded the air horn, and with no time to switch herself over mentally from rushing to running, her adrenaline got her off to a good pace. She held a steady 11:40-minute pace until about mile 8, and all that energy slowly began to taper off.

There are many hills in that part of the Pacific Northwest. Living on base and in the surrounding areas, she had grown accustomed to running with them. However, Kirkland’s many steep hills took an unexpected toll.

“My perfectly-planned race to-do list included checking out the racecourse out ahead of time in person, but, of course, it didn't happen,” she said.

Between miles 9-10, her thighs started chafing. The vaseline she’d packed was a lifesaver, however. Around mile 11, both her music and her mileage tracker crashed, and she began to go in full panic mode.

Thankfully, Nicholas stopped to remind her to take in the beautiful scenery around them--turquoise-colored flowing rivers, chirping birds and sky-piercing jagged mountains.

“I had missed out on this the first few miles because I was so focused on my ‘perfectly planned race’!” she said.

For the remaining 2.1 miles, she thought about how hard she’d trained to get this far, and refused to let race-day mishaps stop her from reaching the finish line. She finished with a 14:19 pace, 312th of 337.

“By all standards, it was definitely not THE best, but I felt MY best and that was what mattered,” says Tylandra.

External and Internal Challenges

Tylandra’s experience has been a game-changer for her.

“I believe the fear of the time it takes, the fear of getting out there in the elements, or the fear of our hair being ruined may hinder many Black women from wanting to begin a running regimen. I would like to change that narrative,” she says.

Viewing these challenges as things to overcome has helped her stay motivated to continue her running journey, both on race day and beyond.
“I felt empowered knowing I was able to cross the finish line with all these odds stacked against me!”

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