Adjusting Your Mentality for a New 'Normal'
by Dr. Candice Williams, Ph.D., NCC, LPC, Contributor
Over the past several months the COVID-19 pandemic has pushed America into one of the most significant mental health crises to date. As a result, prioritizing our mental health daily has become just as important as wearing a mask and washing our hands. The impact of this global pandemic has caused millions to make unexpected changes to how we manage our daily lives. These changes have occurred so quickly that there’s been no time to catch up mentally.
Social distancing and self-quarantining have become the norm for most people, making it difficult to escape feelings such as separation and isolation. For Black people, pandemic-related anxiety is compounded by race-related stress, leaving many black people fearful for their lives and their health. For those of us who don’t particularly like change, adapting to what we once knew as normal can be both challenging and confusing – especially if you have developed a good work/quarantine life routine.
Here are a few tips to help you start adjusting to a new ‘normal’ and feel mentally prepared to step foot outside before the world opens back up.
It’s NORMAL to Feel Scared ‘AF’!
If you find yourself feeling more anxious than usual, you’re not alone, nor are you overreacting. The first step to overcoming unpleasant feelings is to acknowledge they exist. For many African Americans, cultural norms and sociologies have taught that the best way to deal with emotional discomfort is to not deal with it at all. This mentality and failure to manage feelings can leave us feeling even more stressed. Yes, the coronavirus is deadly, but so is stress! Somatic complaints such as – pain, headaches, weakness, dizziness, abdominal pain, and other painful periods can result in unmanaged stress for a prolonged time.
It is imperative you enhance your social support by building a network of people you can rely on virtually during this time. In addition, seeking the assistance of a therapist is a great first step to help you manage any stress-induced fear or overwhelming feelings due to coronavirus. More than ever, there are online resources available to find a therapist you can relate to, from the safety of your home.
Educate Yourself Without Panic
Minimizing your media intake to one news source that you trust can help you stay informed without constantly being inundated with updates about reopen plans, new confirmed cases and, in some instances, fake news. Educating yourself while attempting to remain calm during a global pandemic is a brand new skill for most people that will take both practice and intention. While that may be easier said than done, this technique is helping you to practice being in the moment while regulating your fear at the same time. We can’t control when states across the country will reopen but we can control how we mentally prepare ourselves.
Switch from “My” to “The”
One quick way to put your mind at ease and your pandemic-related fears on pause is to switch your “my” statements to “the” statements when feeling uncomfortable emotions. When we don’t personalize feelings and instead see them as universal, we are able to move through difficult emotions more quickly. Instead of saying “My anxiety is through the roof right now,” try thinking of it as “the anxiety”. This mental trick can help you reclaim your time and sanity by “calling a thing a thing.” Giving your uncomfortable feelings a name helps you to accept how you feel without shame, guilt or being perceived as weak. “The” anxiety, “the” fear, “the” worry you feel about surrounding communities reopening amidst a global pandemic is yours to acknowledge but it is not your burden to carry.
Try to “IMPROVE” the Situation
The “I.M.P.R.O.V.E” method is a mindfulness technique, pioneered by therapist Marsha Linehan as part of Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Practicing this along with social distancing can help adjust to the unexpected flood of emotions that can be triggered by any of the major stressors going on in the world right now. See the breakdown of how to apply this ‘improve’ technique:
I – Imagery
Imagine yourself doing the things you once enjoyed pre-COVID--brunch with the girls, pedicures, going to the mall, relaxing on the beach--and all the feelings connected to those activities.
M – Meaning
Find meaning in your present state of being to foster hope and gratitude. Yes, we are living in unprecedented times, but as the saying goes, ‘you grow through what you go through’. Take time to reflect on how this experience has helped you grow on an intrapersonal basis.
P – Prayer
Meditation or whichever spiritual practice you desire can be a great coping skill and helps you to remain centered, to let go of any thoughts and situations that are causing you stress.
R – Relaxation
Every unplanned event is not always a call to battle. Find time to relax and recharge during this time. Journaling, turning your TV off, listening to music, putting your phone on “do not disturb” and not checking emails for a block of time can support real relaxation.
O – One thing at a time
Tame your overthinking by taking things one task, one step and one day at a time. Going from 0-to-60 mentally is the quickest way to increase anxiety and self-sabotage progress. You have the power to decide how you want to adjust at your own pace.
V – Vacation (in place)
While flight plans are canceled, “staycations” are still a thing. Enjoy your personal space. Turn your favorite room into a ‘seasonal getaway’ with a few new decorations here and there. Pinterest has ideas for practical ways to update your living space while in quarantine.
E – Encourage yourself
Trying to stay optimistic in a global pandemics seems impossible, but it is doable. Stay encouraged by affirming yourself during this time. Remind yourself the things of which you are still in control (i.e. how you are protecting yourself, how much sleep you’re getting, staying active, etc.). Be kind to yourself and watch what you say (even in your head) during this time, because of words matter.
Looking to the future, the idea of communities planning to reopen soon can bring about feelings of stress and worry. It’s normal to feel the way you feel, however, you want to make sure that you have a routine in place that reinforces healthy coping skills to support your mental health.
Dr. Candice Williams, Ph.D., NCC, LPC
Contributor
Dr. Candice Williams is a Texas native living in Washington D.C. and specializing in both clinical and trauma counseling. Dr. Williams has over ten years of clinical experience across various treatment settings with adolescents and adults. Her work is centered around Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and includes a strength-based approach to helping clients understand how their thoughts impact their feelings and thoughts. Insightful, competent and highly experienced, Dr. Williams has helped hundreds of clients towards their desired personal and professional goals with her private counseling organization, MYND Mental Health + Wellness Group, LLC.